Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
