After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
