and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
