I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The adults are the big ones right?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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