That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
