I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
