you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
