could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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