I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Randomize
