I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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