well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
