If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
