we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
