it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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