Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
