Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
