He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
BRING THE BAGELS
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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