ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
