so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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