his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
