whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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