but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
