Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
