i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
