if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
