1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
