I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize