I wannas sexs uuuuu
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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