areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
