Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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