I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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