Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You ruined the universe
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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