Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
