I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
