Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
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I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
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THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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