let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Did I show you my penis last night?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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