my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
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I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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