I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
