She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
