yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
