so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
