...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
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