Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize