Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
