It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
