so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
