There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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