i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
