Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
