Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
