It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
