I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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