I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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