I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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