hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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