I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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