bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
false alarm. still invincible.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
