Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he thought i was a dude.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
