There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
